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The New Stuff

Begin Online Dating. A Simple Overview

We (meaning you and I) made the decision to begin online dating. But, now we are in the same boat. I am confused about how to proceed with it. And so are you. I decided to write this simple overview to help us both out.

Decide What Your Dating Interests Are

Decide Who We Want
Love from Anywhere
So many sites to choose from, it is hard to decide where to join. For starters, I think it is a good idea to either write down your dating interests or have a good idea of them in your mind. 

Let us think about what we want. Are we only interested in certain types of dates? Meaning, do we really only want to find love with a single person who is from a different race or culture? Such as meeting Philippine singles or Thai girls.
Or, would we want to meet a fellow dog lover or vegan. If we are firmly wanting to meet people who fit these criteria, we may want to join a niche online dating site. These cater to people with yours or mine own interests, so it stands to reason that one of us at least can snag a partner off of these.
I for one tend to like Asian girls, so I would want to find a suitable Asian or Filipina one to join.

There are tons of niche sites online to make our choice from and the possibilities seem almost endless as to what interests they cover.

If you don't need a special group of people to go out with then maybe it is ok to choose a general site. People on these are interested in virtually anything. Marriage, dates, dogs, whatever. If you want serious relationships and are not interested in only a niche then these are a good way to go.

We may decide to hook-up for sex. There are casual sites that are sort of between general and adult, and then there are the adult ones. It seems that they are both good in terms of looking for a sex partner.
Finally, there is the alternative type. This is really good if that is your thing. But, I would like to point out that a good adult or casual site often has people with these interests. Once again, it is your decision.

 What Are The Benefits of Membership

My advice to both of us is to take some time and look over what they offer in terms of membership. This is important because they do vary from one to the next in what you get, whether free or paid options.
Send Romantic E card
There are websites that provide reviews of the different dating sites that you can find online. Maybe, it is a good idea to check out some of those to see what they have to say about each one. Do not however take what they say as final. I think it is ok to use them as a general guide but we should make our own decisions. Sometimes maybe the guide is outdated or who knows what.

So by doing some internet searches we have arrived on a website that we want to check-out. This is where I like to look at what they offer in terms of memberships. Do they have free memberships as well as paid? If so, then just what will they tell us about the benefits of each type of membership. I like everyone else, like to get a lot for free.
 For a more in-depth explanation of online dating services try here

 Some offer free types of flirting or attention getting techniques that can be nice. 
These consist of things like: 
-free e cards that you can send to members
- free flirting
-free winking 
-and some offer so many free emails that you can send. This is nice because maybe we can get lucky and get some attention right away.

Paid features are also important to look at before we decide. What will we get for our money. Again, some offer more than others and some have different ways of letting people communicate. This is a personal decision that we must make for ourselves.

 A good site that I know of offers these and other features: 
-priority listings above other members, so that you are the first person they see. 
This is cool because it means yours is not the profile that is buried under all the rest.
- Another option they have is to text other singles. 
 This is cool. Texting means doing it from the cell or android and not having to sit at your desktop. A definite time saver and an option that makes it so much more convenient to date online.
 -Then there is the chat and video chat features. Awesome, we can see who we are interested in live on cam and even hear their voice. 
 Cool way to get to know someone I think.
These are just some of the features and benefits that I like to look out for when choosing. But, choose for yourself.

Terms and Conditions

Read the Fine Print
Know What You Agree To
 A very important thing to do before you whip out the credit card is to read the dreaded fine print. Go to the terms and conditions page and take the time to read over it. Hopefully, this page answers a lot of the questions that you have about what the website offers. Importantly, it should give the terms  and conditions of your payment and possible refund if you do not like the site after you join. Please, read this and decide it they sound right to you. You may not be given much time to try to cancel your order or get any refund so be sure. And last, but not least at all, is the fact that many sites in any catagory nowadays usually have automatic recurring payments. You may want to watch that.
A slower way to gain access to all the benefits is to send a check by mail. Some sites offer this.

Congratulations! We joined. Now what? 

Personal Profile

Now ladies and gentlemen is the hard part for most of us. Making the dreaded profile so people will look at us and hopefully contact us.
Show Yourself in a Positive LIght
Why State the Unnecessary

It is a good idea to not seem needy or too strange at this point. Do not begin your online dating experience with a headline like "lonely guy who hasn't had sex for 5 years." These types of messages anywhere in your profile will probably insure you stay that way. Alone at night! 

Do not start off by bragging about yourself either. Nobody wants to listen to you tell them how great you think you are. Instead, it seems a better idea to portray yourself in a positive light. We can and should mention our strong points, but in a round about sort of way. Maybe something like on Sundays after we go for a long swim we like to spend time at the nursing home talking to old people who don't have many visitors. Maybe that is a bad example but I think the point is obvious.

I think it is good to be honest right from the start, but that doesn't mean that we should give away private or unnecessary information about ourselves. Don't mention that you were involved in a drive by shooting or that your mother is in an insane asylum. Others do not need that type of information about you, at least not for along time.
Another obvious one, and one that most sites forbid members to post, is giving your phone number and address. Of course, do not make yourself vulnerable to any weirdos.

Don't be so generic in giving your interests or likes and dislikes. It is not very thrilling to sift through a thousand profiles that read virtually the same thing.
 Honestly, it makes a person wonder if they are serious or even real. You can mention that you love spicy chile during cold weather instead of just saying that you like to eat warm food when you are cold. Or, instead of just telling us that you like to read you could say you like Charles Dickens, for example. 
It can be hard for us to write about ourselves, but it is important to take the time and make a good one. If you need to why not browse other peoples profiles and see what they put. It is obvious when you see a nice one! Nice article about internet dating is here

Profile Pictures

Profile Pic
Choose Appropriate Pictures
There is new information out there now about the science of pictures in your dating profile and how well some types perform against others. I am not going too in depth about that here because it could get too wordy. However, there is now recommendations, to not take a selfie and post it online. Apparently, there is thought that there are already to many selfies. Personally, a selfie is fine with me but it should be a nice one. For girls, I have seen recommendations that photos taken with a side view are better than some frontal views. There appears to be psychological evidence to support these new opinions. There probably is too.
Do not worry to much at first about your profile because you can always update it later on.

After we have made our profile we can get down to business and search for our new online friend. Many sites have differing search options but usually it is broken down into sex, age, location and various interests.

That's it! We have started online dating.

Well, I hope that I have helped us to begin our online dating journey. This was a basic overview and there is a lot more that can be discussed but in the interest of letting you get started, I will end here.

Day after day I was surfing the internet and everywhere I went I seemed to see ads for online dating sites.

Filipina Smile

Filipina Smile
Poem originally posted on Sampaguitas Page
 A Filipina smile is like a flower in bloom
Pretty as a treasured work of art
Valued for its grace and perfection,
Beauty is encompassing.
There is harmony in a Filipina,
the way she moves and interacts.
She is noted everywhere, her
Kindness and charm are infectious.
Who would not love a Filipina?
Soft-spoken and refine,
faithful and simply wonderful.

I thought this was a perfect photo for this poem the first time that I saw it. Sorry my editing skills don't do it justice. So, I decided to add it here as a fitting compliment!

Why the Name Sampaguitas Dating. A Compliment to the Qualities of a Filipina

Love Forever
Sampaguitas Dating was chosen after careful consideration of the qualities of a Filipina. Asian girls and even women from other countries included. I believe that the stories about the flower and the qualities it has come to stand for, can in a way, describe a pinay and is a compliment to a Filipina. There are so many desirable traits and characteristics to a babae (meaning girl or female) that they deserve a recognition. (A quick note about the word pinay. Some people say it can be derogatory but most every source I have found says otherwise. So, no insult intended.)
The sampaguita flower has its name rooted in Philippine legend and lore and plays a part in its culture. It was named the national flower of the P.I. (Philippine Islands) by the American Governor-general Frank Murphy in 1934. 
As a reference for you I provided this link. Philippines National Flower

 "©[Digifuture(Vitali Dyatchenko)"
This variety of jasmine represents humility, purity, simplicity and strength; sometimes including love, dedication, devotion and fidelity.         
After conducting my own research into the subject and after having been here for awhile I came to the conclusion that these things should also symbolize a compliment to the Pinay and be chosen for the name of Sampaguitas Dating.

Qualities of a Filipina: Humility, Purity, Simplicity, Strength.
Island Girl
image © Derrick Block

Looking into the Republics past, hearing the stories about the lands women and then looking at the present and seeing how much they do to support the family unit and the economy in general it was natural to feel this way. I say this because if you are here for any length of time, you will notice that most establishments whether they are stores or other businesses have more women than men in the front lines and back offices. It is common to find that the girls are working long hours and often times are not paid very well. But, they persevere for themselves and for the futures of their families. The men while important seem to generally be employed in other sectors such as construction, security and the maritime industries and that is a topic for another story.

Sampaguitas comes from the words "sumpa kita" and has depending on the source, a few different meanings that pretty much stand for the same sort of thing. One source gives the meaning "I promise you" while another one gives "You are my promise... You are my vow!" and  "I swear, I swear" in another.  Still a different source translates it into "I pledge myself to you." Basically, to me all the different translations have the same meaning. Strength and purity of devotion to your love!

The legends of the flower I feel are a little varied as I have found more than one story concerning it, but in general they tend to stand for the same type of thing. A love that is strong and pure, with an undying devotion.
Die for Love
Would You Die for Love

One story is about the beautiful Rosita and the only man who captured her heart, the handsome Delfin. Their respective baraguys had a disagreement over the boundary line. Neither side would give in and those types of disagreements usually resulted in bloodshed. So, the two sides prepared and did battle. It was a very bloody affair and Delfin was mortally wounded. Before he died however, he asked his men to take and bury him near the end of the fence line where he and Rosita used to meet in secret. 
Rosita heard about what had happened to her love and became seriously sick. Before she had passed away she had requested to be buried with her eternal love, Delfin, near the end of the fence.

Many years passed and new generations lived in the two baranguys, but all the people living in the area heard, especially during the month of May, the wonderfully sweet voice of a woman saying "sumpa kita...sumpa kita!" (I swear! I swear!) only nobody ever saw anyone in the vicinity. The voice seems to come from little white flowers that produce such a wonderful fragrance that anyone who smells it, immediately loves it. With the passage of time the phrase "sumpa kita" has become to be pronounced sampaguita! 

Here is another reference.
The Legend of the Sampaguita

Die for LoveA second short narration of the legend consists of two lovers. A warrior named Lakam Galing and his lover Lakambini. Before Lakam would go into battle, the two lovers would say "sumpa kita" to express their devotion to each other. When he was killed in a battle she died in grief and little white flowers grew on her grave as a symbol of her love. 

A third legend tells of a beautiful princess named Guita whose father was a ruthless king who had hopes she would meet a prince from a strong kingdom. Instead, Guita met a slave named Sampague, or Sampa, while she was roaming the kingdom and fell in love with him. Her father, the king, found out and ordered Guita to stop seeing Sampa. Guita and Sampa eloped and hid deep in the woods to escape punishment. Her father then sent his soldiers to search the land until they were found. After finding the young love birds the soldiers killed them and buried them in their hiding spot. The king then was filled with remorse and went to visit the grave. He found a shrub with white flowers that had the most wonderful fragrance. He took the fragrance as a sign that he was forgiven by the couple and named the plant Sampaguita.

There are other versions of these legends and stories that I have heard and am not recounting here, so if you are interested do some internet research or even ask a Filipino.

When you get to know a Pilipina (not a typing mistake it is Tagalog, the national language) you realize that there is a greater depth to them than meets the eye. Not knowing the culture and language can confuse a person and give the wrong impression so be careful not to jump to the wrong conclusion. You will probably get a  real surprise and even a rude awakening if you don't.Undying Love
 I also want to point out that to somebody not born here it can take along time to learn all you can about the culture and that there are some things that are never really explained or acknowledged. 
Welcome to a foreign country is all I can say. 
In all the time that I have spent in the Philippines and observed the Philippine lady I believe that the flower is a fitting symbol and a compliment to the Filipina. 

That is how Sampaguitas Dating was chosen as the name of this blog and also as the name for the dating site Sampaguitas.(Link to Sampaguitas is at the top right of the page!)

We are still Sampaguitas Dating but have a new name and updated focus! Dating Expression.

Why Date Filipinas. Qualities of a Filipina Guide

Philippine DatingYou may have heard other people talking about someone they know who has met or is dating a Filipina. You ask yourself. "Why date Filipinas? What are the qualities of a Filipina that would make them desirable to a man from another country?"

I admit that before I started to date a girl from the Philippines I asked myself these same questions. I had heard the negative comments made by people about them so I was a little dubious. I was also curious though, because I realized not everyone can be bad or undesirable. But then I met a woman and we started to talk and form an attachment and we started going-out together.
I realized that these Philippines girls also have a lot of good qualities and characteristics that make them fun and desirable to befriend, date or even to form a long-term relationship with. I was having more fun and a much more interesting experience by knowing this filipino girl than I had with females from my own country.
 Well, for one thing a lot of us want something different and going-out with a person from another culture is very different. It is new and exciting and even exotic.

     Good Reasons to Date Your Babae 

      Philippines Girls are
  • Fun, Carefree and Playful
  • Hard Working and Love of Family
  • Naturally Sexually Attractive
  • Monogamous
  • Educated
  • Good Conversion Rates for Your Money
Here are those reasons below.

 Fun, Carefree and Playful Attitude of Filipino Girls

Playful Pinay  To start off I would say that Philippines girls are fun to be around. They can have a carefree and playful attitude that is refreshing and just wonderful to experience. Compare that to women from other cultures who always take everything so serious and you will know what I mean.They will make funny but strange jokes and tell odd stories that are always amusing and can laugh about most anything. Just a couple of weeks ago I was at a resort here in the Philippines and a group of them were gathered in and around the pools. Listening to them talk and seeing them interact amongst themselves as they play around was a joy to me. It just seemed so innocent and carefree. It even seemed they might invite me to hang out with them for awhile, but unfortunately i had to attend a wedding, so wasn't able to reciprocate the mood. But I did walk away feeling good.

Hard Working and Love of Family

Hard Working Babae

Most Asian women and girls are hard working and know they need to help provide for the future. Although it was expected in most Asian societies for the man to provide, the females know they should as well, and now are. Always working hard and even long hours they are used to the discipline it takes to form a life. In the Philippines now it is common that most companies are hiring more women compared to men and if you visit you will notice it. Checkout the stores and most places in town and you will surely find many feminine employees and even business owners.
 The responsible side of their nature takes over and they tolerate conditions that would have other women screaming, but they do it because they have to and to ensure that the family back home is taken care of as much as possible. One can only find respect for such dedication and love for family. This reveals an inner strength and ability to endure hardship, and I think it is there partially due to the past occupations the islands have gone though.

 Natural Sexual Attractiveness of Filipinas

Sexually AttractiveAn obvious answer to the question, "Why date Filipinas?" is the natural sexual attractiveness they have. The country has gone through periods of occupation and rule by other foreign countries and have mixed blood. They are also an earthy sort of people and many have ties to nature and the sea. As a result they have an inner sexual magnetism and beauty that you cannot really appreciate from photos, you need to see it in real life. Their inner sexuality and outer physical characteristics combine to make P.I. ladies a knockout!

 Monogamous Relationships

One of the most endearing qualities they have is that many will wait until marriage before they engage in sexual intercourse. The island culture is such that it can be frowned on to sleep around with a lot of men or to even appear to forward in mannerism in public  Marriage here is for life as there is no divorce law because they are primarily a Catholic nation. 
This can vary from area to area though. Sometimes in the city or other places the girls are not so old fashioned seeming, at least as regards to foreign men. I plan to write more about this in a later post or article though and don't want to get too in depth here.

Educated for a Quality Life

Educated for Quality LIfe
Whenever possible ladies here will educate themselves. It is a belief they have to always strive for more I think. If you take time and listen you will find out that many of these people have more than one degree, and not just bachelors either but masters and even doctorates. I believe they do this to not only better themselves but to help insure that children and relations are better provided for and for a way for them to get into positions of employment that may not be open to them otherwise. In real life connections matter and every person here knows it!

The country had a strong American presence in the past and as a result many Filipinos can speak English to a greater or lesser degree. In fact they are taught it in school. Most signs and advertisements and streets are in English which makes it easy to get around compared to most non English speaking countries.

Good Conversion Rates for Your Money
Money Goes Farther

A real nice bonus to dating a filipina is the cost! Most pinays are ok if you don't take them to five star resturaunts every weekend (but would be thrilled if you do once in awhile).  As I stated above, many girls here are not from rich families so are not used to that lifestyle anyway. Do however be respectful and prepare for your date and take her somewhere at least decent. 
The generally good conversion rates of many western currencies compared to here or other Asian countries means your dollar goes farther. Sometimes a lot farther, and beyond the conversion, it is just a fact that the dollar stands for more and so do you. Meaning that you may be regarded as a stable, even rich sort of fellow.
Depending on where you are in the Philippines, you can easily have a date for one thousand pesos (about twenty-five U.S. dollars). This can be more or less depending on what you do together.
 As an example, if you were in the provinces and not in metro Manila, then a good meal at a good place can be about two hundred pesos each. A movie is about one hundred and fifty pesos each for the tickets. Pedi cabs in many areas are maybe nine pesos a ride as long as you are not going too far. So right there you took her to a movie and had good dining for under the one thousand pesos that I mentioned and she is more than likely thrilled with you too!

There are many answers to the questions "Why date Filipinas?" and to "What qualities do they have that would make them desirable?" and I trust that I have given you are few good ones.
I must admit that in the time that I have been here, I have had more fun than I did back home and have learned some of the their culture too. Just remember to study up on the parts of Asia you intend to go to before hand so you are prepared. I will be writing more about these things here and I urge you to look at forums for international dating and Expatriots. There are some good ones that provide a lot of information so check those out.

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