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Tuesday, October 21, 2014

Real Dating Tips for Meeting a Philippines Girl. Assumptions and Attitudes

philippines touristsDating Expressions latest in our ongoing posts about dating Filipinas covers some rather tricky and sensitive issues that can and surely will arise if you are here for any length of time.
This weeks Real Dating Tips for Meeting a Philippines Girl talks some about assumptions and personal attitudes that are encountered often in the Philippines.

We hope you bear in mind that we are not trying to sound harsh about either the Filipinos or the foreigners that visit here, but some things should be at least mentioned to newcomers. Although, a person actually needs to be here for some time before they can understand and sometimes it is just plain hard to discuss these subjects online.

Issues are bound to surface, especially since this is a third world nation and there are many cultural, educational and experience levels, not to mention the  monetary differences that abound.
This real dating tip will touch somewhat lightly the matter of assumptions and how they tend to show up. As I said, I think this is a sensitive subject and you should read it with an open mind. There are no insults intended toward either side.

When you first arrive in an area you should take some time and get to know how things are there before you put to much effort into girlfriend hunting.

In the small town and rural places especially there will be a conservative attitude along with the deeply ingrained Catholic teachings.

Remember that because it plays a highly important part of every day life here and whether you like it or not you won't change anything. Spare yourself the hassle and don't bother ever trying to change something you see here.

This conservative attitude is real important to you because it means that when trying to find a date you are going to run into this. Many times, a man needs to court a girl before she is allowed to see him, even for a date. The family will most surely know that she is going out with a foreigner and most probably there will be people she knows close to you two all night and you may not even realize it.

Being a foreigner often times may negate the actual courting issue, but rest assured word spreads quickly and just being seen talking to a visitor will be the first news on the grapevine and the girls know this. Many times, a girl will not be receptive to you because of this fact.

 Assumptions of Filipinos

People here have a tendency to assume. They just simply assume they know something and a lot of times they are completely wrong. They not only do it to foreigners but to each other as well. Bear that in mind because not everything you encounter is because you are a foreigner, although it may seem like it at first.

A wide spread assumption is that all foreigners are after is to take sexual advantage of a Philippines girl.
This is like many assumptions and attitudes here. They will  at one time seem to condone it, because they for sure will date a foreigner and on the other hand they will look down on foreigners who are here to meet Filipinas.

average Filipinos
You will notice this in public, especially in the lesser populated areas. When you are looking around and a woman happens to be in your line of sight, they will just assume that you are looking at her with sexual desire. It doesn't seem to make any difference how you are looking either.

I know this is true because I have had it happen more than once. They even approached me and inquired if I was married or single and would I like to marry this girl they thought I was ogling but wasn't.

Another time at a fish market I was standing looking around and getting my bearings. I was also looking at the various kinds of fish and a pretty girl smiled at me. I smiled and said hello back and all of a sudden an old man who was apparently her grandfather was threatening me with a large meat cleaver. Telling me that he doesn't care if I think I am so sexy, I better get away from this girl.
He was very mad and I just decided to leave the market.
All this just because she smiled and said hello. It is funny in hindsight, but it is important to note because it shows you the attitude many of the Filipinos will have about you.

Many other times a woman will assume you are interested because you look in her direction. Sometimes, this can work in our favor if you are actually interested in her but often times they look offended. If I could only tell you no, I am not looking at you that way is a common thought I have had since I have moved here.

  They tend to watch foreigners closely and will make these assumptions, this can be rather frustrating because like I said it isn't fair and most of the time they are wrong.

A funny thing is that if you in turn observe a Filipino, you will notice they watch women a lot. Don't figure does it?

 Often times a pinay will look or smile rather suggestively at you and it is totally misleading. This has happened to me so often I almost expect it. Many times she is teasing you, sometimes in a harmless way but other times because you are not a Filipino.

I think that unless you have a good understanding of their culture it is a good idea to hold back and not move in for that date until you know what she is up to. I say this because many times these women are married and they may just be doing that to make fun of you, the dumb foreigner, who thinks that she would go to bed with you! Get it? She is sort of making a fool out of you, so hold on to your thoughts of romance and just engage in some normal talk until you know. Better never to make a fool of yourself in a foreign country because they take face value very seriously.

You will find it wise to be polite at all times and don't get ruffled when they mess with you. They are doing it on purpose, but believe it or not they mess with each other all the time.

 Don't Judge What You Don't Know

Visitors here should keep their opinions on hold and not judge too quickly. Many times the Filipinos are just sick of foreign tourists who think they are better than them because they do not come from a third world country.

Many times the foreigners do tend to judge things by their own countries standards and ways of life but that doesn't work because this is their country and their culture is much different than yours.

Don't assume that you are any smarter, more talented or even better educated than someone just because you think you are or because that person isn't wearing expensive clothing. Many Filipinos have more than one college degree and sometimes their wealth or connections are not so apparent.

Even the poor girls who lack education are not actually dumb. They may be ignorant because they have no
poor Filipinas
experience but they can and will learn quickly when they want to. And you must remember that they are at least smart enough to learn more than one language. How many languages do you speak right now?

Actually when you take the time to get to know a Philippines girl you will find they can be rather comical and fun loving. Many are good company and if you listen to their advice you may be saved a lot of trouble.

  Philippines Girls Advice

 You will need to think for yourself and use your instincts and experience to make decisions here but it is a great idea to actually hear what the girl is trying to tell you. Take the time to understand because she isn't just talking for no reason and is likely trying to spare you a hassle.

Doesn't matter if she has no education or is poor. She knows better than you what the lowdown is and when you think about it, it is really nice of her to even tell you anything considering many Filipinos won't.
For that she deserves your respect at the very least.

There is much more I can cover on this subject alone but I will end here with  that last little praise for the Philippines girl.

Stay tuned for more Real Dating Tips for Meeting a Philippines Girl.

Feel free to comment or 
share experiences below.

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