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Saturday, August 23, 2014

Get Married or Stay Single. Facts and Opinion

Married or Single
Married or single
Get married or stay single? Which would make me happier? I have wondered this question at some points in my life and I am sure many of you have too. While browsing the internet, we see all kinds of people writing all kinds of stuff about how much better life is once you get married and others write about how it is great to be single and dating.
I decided to do some research for us about getting married and staying single. The point is to provide
some facts taken from statistics and real life experiences. Granted we need to take all advice, stories and even statistics with a grain of salt, there must be some valuable information for us.

Marriage for the Girls

A lot of us may feel pressured to get married and settle down. Raise the family and satisfy the demands placed on us by our own families and society.
 Most of these people tend to be women. I sort of feel for girls in this regard, as they seem to take the brunt of this. Their friends and associates always carping and making silly jibes about not having a child yet or not being able to land a man for life. Not to mention they have the biological clock that is urging them to procreate and usually this means marriage.
(Although on a little bit of a side note, I have brought this up to a few different women and they all said that the biological baby clock wasn't as big a factor as we sometimes here it is. However, I also have heard a lot of women say they want to get married because they are getting older and they want to have babies!)

  •  Marriages Started Through Friends = 63%
  •  Adult Americans that are Single = 44%
Dating/Relationship Statistics - Statistic Brain
 2013 Statistic Brain Research Institute, publishing as Statistic Brain.
 Source: MSNBC Survey, eZine Research Date: 1.1.2014

  • Married Men who feel Religion is Very Important = 50.9%
  • Chance that a First Marriage Will Survive 10 Years = .66%  1in 15
  •  Birth 8+Months into Marriage = 1 in 12
Marriage Statistics - Statistic Brain
  2013 Statistic Brain Research Institute, publishing as Statistic Brain.
Source: CDC, National Survey of Family Growth Research Date: 1.1.2014

Marriage for Men

Men get pressured too. Mothers, fathers, friends and even bosses look at single men and urge them to raise a family. Mothers and fathers want grandchildren and some bosses look at married men as more stable and therefore more desirable for that job or promotion.
Society does place demands on us but ultimately it is up to us to decide what to do in our lives.

  • Women Find Money To be Very Important in Relationships = 88% 
  • Number 1 Relationship Argument = Money 
 Dating/Reationship Statistics - Statistic Brain
  2013 Statistic Brain Research Institute, publishing as Statistic Brain.
Source: MSNBC Survey, eZine Research Date: 1.1.2014

Marriage does have its good points. We have someone to go home to instead of the empty apartment and someone is usually there to talk with or even watch tv with. We have someone to share our beds with and don't go to sleep feeling lonely or morose because we wonder if we will ever have a spouse. Children will soon come and the place will be full of people and chattering mouths.

Marriage, Money and Staying Single

Marriage and Money
If both spouses are working then there are two incomes to use for the financial future instead of just one. With careful consideration, you two can grow your nest egg quicker and easier than by yourself. The downside of this is that you are answerable to someone else for money spent and may have to answer for that new watch you just bought or that new pair of slacks.
 You won't necessarily have the same freedom you had while single and that can be an issue that crops up from time to time. Money is generally one of the leading causes of arguments in marriages so it is not an issue to be taken lightly.
 You generally have to decide how you as a couple will make your budget and financial plan. This can be tricky because usually one or both of you may feel something is unfair. You are paying more than you should or paying for something that you don't want or agree with in the first place.
On the other hand if you are single you are only answerable to yourself and may find it a lot easier to make your budget and save for the future. You don't have to explain all your spending or why you feel you should use this bank or that one for your accounts.

 I've Got Dirty Habits. Leave My Stuff Alone!

Getting married means that you will need to change you ways of doing things and won't have the free time that you did before.
Chances are your significant other won't like the way that you do something, such as cleaning or the laundry and they will definitely have something to say about it. The fact is, we do things our own way and don't always want to hear someone else's opinion on the matter. But, in the spirit of a smooth relationship you should be flexible on things and not get excited over the other persons opinion.
The time that you spend now with your friends will now be spent with your spouse. No more late night parties or sporting events. At the very least the time you have for these things will drop way down and if you have children then there may be no time at all at first.

Sexual Side of Love 

Love is love and we all want it and most of us want our other half to be for us only. When you are married you are expected to have sex with that person only and forever. You should decide if you feel that this is
Sexual Desires
Sensual Pleasures
acceptable for you. Basically, at first this may not be an issue but if you only sleep with the same person for a few years you may find that you want a new sex partner.
What if you meet someone that you think is so hot and have a mutual attraction too? Do you think that you will be able to say no to temptation and go home to your husband or wife? Staying single means that you can indulge in these sexual dalliances without the worry of a broken home and marriage.
Personally, I fell love is all well and good and I also believe that as far as sex goes, it should be discussed honestly and realistically with your partner. Can I or both of us stay monogamous or does it seem farfetched? 
Is the other person even sexually compatible with you? If not, then I think I could not stand to be in a marriage with them. Spending years having unsatisfying sex with the same person seems ridiculous and I would want to know beforehand just what I am in for sexually with this love relationship.
Granted sex isn't everything, but it is a whole lot of something and is too important not be be discussed.

Married Life Versus Singles Dating Life, My Opinion 

I feel that love and a monogamous marriage are a real fine thing. A woman that I feel that I am blessed to know who shares my days and my nights for the rest of our lives is a great thought. I don't however like the thought of getting married and then facing the possible future complications should it fall apart.
 I like the thought of hot and erotic sex that is soulful and fulfilling and sweet and tender and raunchy and filthy with one scrumptious girl for ever. I also just don't think there is a very good chance for such and I know that marriage and real life are never as good as our inner desires.
Arguments, personal privacy and independence. Sex and money and children and medical bills.  Thinking through all the angles of life single but dating, or even seeing one certain girl for a few years as a committed relationship but not getting married sounds much better to me right now than a marriage and all that it entails. Just because, if things really do fall apart, I see no reason why life should be shattered or made that much more difficult because I signed a piece of paper. That doesn't mean that I am not capable of love either, but that I feel it isn't necessary unless children are involved and that brings up a whole new side to the story that I think would fit a different post better.

What are your thoughts and opinions on getting married or staying single? Please comment below!

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